Toilet Portal
by Glitterrock
Summary: Naruto gets sucked through a toilet...wait what?


**Toilet Portal**

Naruto saw a portal in the middle of the training area one day, he had seen them before but couldn't remember where he'd seen them. So he went through it to see what was on the other side. The next thing he knew, he was being shot out of a toilet. When he finally got up and went out the door he walked into a living room with a girl eating cereal, without milk in it. When she finally looked up from the book she was reading and saw Naruto she could think of only one thing to say, "What the fuck are you doing in my living room?"

"Hey I remember you! You were the one of the people that kept opening portal things in my world!"  
"You didn't answer my question, know answer before I remove your vitals."

"I came through a open portal in your toilet," said Naruto proudly.

"Well that explains why Krit has been taking so long in the bathroom, wait did you say IN the toilet?"

"Yes it is kind of scary to look at."

Gwen sighed getting up and mumbling things like, "Damn you for leaving open portals every ware." and "Burn in hell." Gwen drug Naruto back to the bathroom so that they could see the toilet portal. In the toilet it looked like purple water with many different colors of glow sticks were constantly being flushed.

Getting a piece of paper and a pen, Gwen wrote _Out of Order _and put it on the outside of the door. "Ok come on we need to get Krit out of your world before she causes anymore serous damage," with that she picked up Naruto and threw him head first into the toilet; the portal expanded and pulled him through. Then taking a deep breath she jumped in after him.

On the other side of the portal Naruto asked where Krit would go. "Find Neji, we find him, we find Krit." So they set off to find him, and they didn't need to look very long, before they found him standing on a box in the middle of the road yelling at people.

"Monkey tails and puppy toes put into a blender with one apple, and you get a Kiwi smoothie, but you must drink it before it runs away because the Kiwi is a no fly bird; of the old fries that you hid under your bed! As a sacrifice! for the turtle doves, so they wouldn't peck at your face!" with that he did a little jig.

Then Krit jumped down from a building and yelled, "THANK YOU and remember, As muffins rein supreme don't forget the Olive loaf is really the child of fermenting watermelon skin!" with that Krit and Neji disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What was that?!"

"That was the last time I let Krit drink Mountain Dew, and eat instant cappuccino mix at the came time, and apparently share with others; come on we have to catch her," said Gwen as she ran down a street. Soon they found Shikamaru, who for some reason instead of cloud watching was, dirt watching?

"Uh Shika why are you staring at the dirt?" asked Naruto.

"Do you ever believe you were stuck in the sky, don't you ever get stuck in the sky," Shikamaru twisted to look at them, grabbed Naruto and shook him as he yelled, "DON'T EVER GET STUCK IN THE SKY!" Then he want back to staring at the ground like they had never talked to him. Slowly Gwen and Naruto backed away, and turned and ran in the opposite direction.

As they ran Naruto yelled at Gwen, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT!"

"I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA BUT I KNOW THAT IT IS KRIT'S FAULT!" Gwen yelled back at Naruto.

"Hello!"

Both Naruto and Gwen stooped an looked around for the source of the voice.

"Up here."

Looking up they saw Lee, hanging up side down, "Normally I would get myself down but Neji took all of my weapons and ran away screaming something about killing the deranged mango living in his cousins shoe. So could you get me down?" said Lee hopefully.

"How long have you been up there?" asked Naruto.

"Only about 2 minutes."  
"Then we just missed Neji and Krit!" said Gwen as they started to leave.

"Hey, I'm still hanging here!"

Gwen turned to look at him, "Yes, yea you are still hanging there."

"So, could you get me down?!"

"We have to catch a crazed lunatic, we'll get you down when we are done," said Gwen as she started to leave.

"Think of it as training!" Naruto yelled back at Lee as he ran to catch up with Gwen.

"Please come back," whimpered Lee as he continued to hang there

They found Hinata walking home without any shoes on, but before Gwen could asked where Neji went, Naruto asked a stupid question.

"Hey Hinata ware did your shoes go?"

"Well. . . . "

"Neji took them you moron, now tell us which way Neji went," said Gwen getting tired of the aura of stupidity surrounding Naruto. Hinata didn't saw anything just pointed into the woods.

"Hey Hinata if you lost your shoes you can us mine," said Naruto dumbly as he held his shoes out to her. Instead of taking them she fainted. Confused Naruto looked down at her.

"DEAR GOD NARUTO PUT YOUR SHOES BACK ON BEFORE YOU KILL EVERYONE! DID YOU PUT BABY BUNNYS IN THERE AND WALK ON THEM FOR A FEW WEEKS AND NEVER TAKE THEM OUT!" yelled Gwen holding her hands over her nose.

Leaving Hinata, they walked into the woods. Soon they found Hinata's shoes with a bunch of Kunai sticking out of them, and a sign that read _'Let this be a warning to all demented mangos! Shoes are not the place for you to hide and spawn your demon avocado children, of the half eaten colander.'_

"We are getting closer," said Gwen walking passed the little memorial. They entered a clearing and saw a giant fish tank, in the fish tank they saw Kisame floating there looking very upset that he couldn't get out. Seeing them he went over to the "glass" and started hitting it, but instead of it making any noise in moved out towards them and then went back to its original shape.

"She put him in a jelly plastic thing so he couldn't get out, that is kinda funny," commented Gwen. "Hey where did he crazy ones go?" Gwen asked Kisame, he then pointed to his left. They found Krit and Neji talking to Itachi who wasn't replying to either of them.

"KRIT!" yelled Gwen. Krit turned around and waved at Gwen very energetically. "Come on you have caused too much damage, erase everyone's memories and lets get out of here."

"But I am having so much fun," whined Krit.

"No we are leaving NOW!"  
"Ok I'll go but under one condition."  
"Ok what?"  
"Bring Sasuke here."

"What? Ok whatever, Naruto bring Sasuke here now and fast so I don't have to stay here much longer," Gwen said clearly agitated. While they waited they all went back to where Kisame was, Krit was making faces at him while Neji was talking to Itachi.

"You must be nice to the mentally disabled people. Cause you might be that way one day when your old. When your old, mentally disabled, when your old, yah." about this time Naruto and Sasuke showed up in the clearing.

"Ok why was I brought here and why. . .ITACHI!" Sasuke tried to attack him but Krit slapped him.

"Bad Sasuke, bad no fighting, Itachi just wants to tell you something then you can leave ok." Sasuke didn't say anything, but didn't attack Itachi, he didn't relax though. Itachi walked over to Sasuke and did something unthinkable.

He gave him a hug and said, "I love you," Sasuke fainted.

Gwen turned to Krit and said, "You done?"

"Yep," with that she pressed a button on her remote and everything went all weird and they were in living room again.

"You erased everyone's memories right?!"

"Yep"

"The civilians in town?"

"Will think a normal day has went by.

"Shikamaru?"

"Will wake up face in the dirt and write it off as rolling over in his sleep."

"Lee?"  
"Will think he stepped in his own trap but was saved by a bunch of squirrels."

"Hinata?"

"Will wake up and as if nothing ever happened."

"Naruto and Sasuke?"  
"Both will think it has been a normal day but Sasuke will have a dream about Itachi hugging him and saying _I love you_."

"Kisame and Itachi?"

"Itachi will also have strange dreams but otherwise fine, but Kisame will start a anti-aquarium movement."

"What about Neji!?"

". . . ."

"Well!"

"I'm hungry, what is in the fridge."

A/N: Cappuccino mix is good


End file.
